Reflection & Resolution

I've had many days to reflect on my journey through life over the last 7 weeks while recovering from heart surgery.  During this time not a day went by that I didn't think about how fortunate I am be surrounded by a wonderful family and life long friends that have lifted me up and inspired me through a challenging time in my life.  It's impossible to thank everyone, however I truly appreciate all the emails, calls, visits in the hospital and prayers. 

 (Reece & I in 2005)

As I reflected on everything I took the time to check out all the old pictures that truly warm my heart with amazing memories.  Some people say a picture is worth a thousand words.  When I think about my son Reece and the fact he was born 6.5 weeks early I think about how fortunate we are to have this amazing little man in our life.  He spent 4 weeks in the NICU and then came home on monitor for the first 3 months.  I learned as all new parents do there is nothing like hold a baby on your chest and falling asleep.  

Reece, Scooby and Barkley 2005

 (Reece at 1yr)

This is another picture that always makes me smile when I think about all the love he's brought into our life.  He was an relaxed baby that was always smiling and laughing.  A baby's genuine laughter represents all that is good in life.

Reece and Tristin in Hawaii 2006 

                                                   

(Reece & Tristin 2006)

This was Reece's first trip Hawaii. We've already decided he needs to go college at UH so we'll have reason to come visit every year.  Who knows we may end up back in Hawaii someday full time?

                  (Chicago Marathon 2006)

This was an amazing family trip to Chicago.  I was fortunate to be part of the New Balance Global Centennial Team which provide an all expenses paid trip to run the Chicago Marathon.  The entire experience was like a dream come true as I had trained for 6 months and I finally ran under 3 hrs!  After 3 previous attempts I finally qualified for the Boston Marathon in April of 2007.  I'm so glad I was able to share this with Tristin, Reece and my mom.  Thanks for all braving the frigid cold and supporting me!

                      (Team Blaze members at the Turkey Trot 2007)

This photo is significant it represents some of the special people in our lives that have become good friends, enjoy having fun and triathlons!  It was almost exactly one year after we thought we were having another child only to learn that life doesn't always make sense.  We not only realized we weren't having another child as planned, but instead my beautiful wife and wonderful mother to Reece almost died in the process.  This was probably the most helpless I've ever felt in my life as I watch my wife go from 100% healthy to being admitted to the hospital with unknown complications related to an internal staff infection that wasn't responding to antibotics.  Tristin was so brave and courageous as she had to have multiple surgeries and staying in the SHMC for 6 of 8 weeks.  Unfortunately, we learned we could only have one child, however the positive result was finally Tristin was healthy again.  It made us both realize how fortunate we are to have Reece.  I will never forget the support provide through all our Team Blaze friends!

IM Canada 2008

Ironman Canada was my 3rd IM distance adventure since 2004 and provided a great family trip to the beautiful Penticton BC.  Tristin, Reece, my parents and Team Blaze friends all came to Canada too, so it was great to have an awesome support team!  If you're looking for an amazing, unique and challenging IM course this is the race for you!


Reece's first bike race Sept. 2009



Chelan Triathlon (July 2010)

This picture represents another special weekend where Tristin and I raced a triathlon together after I was told I could/should never do another triathlon again after being diagnosed with a heart condition.  I had strict order I had to let Tristin set the pace, so after the swim we rode and ran together!  Reece also compete in his first kids triathlon and rocked the bike with no training wheels!  This had to be one of the highlights of my summer as we camped out for the first time as a family with other Team Blaze athletes and families!

October 2010

During my year of bumps in the road Reece was such brave and helpful little man. He would always try to make me feel better. Wow, how he has changed over the last 5 yrs!  Tristin was always there to lift me up and help me sort through my life changing before me.  I now look forward to all life experiences and memories that are in front of us!

(Reece  & I running together in Coeur d'Alene on January 1st)

I'm so glad I have picture to represent my first run back after heart surgery.  As many of you know I have passion for my family, exercise and helping others achieve their goals.  I feel blessed as I look forward to 2011 with unlimited possibilities and experiences ahead. 

I recently went back to my follow up with my heart surgeon and cardiologist to hear the great news that all the test indicate that I'm headed in a positive direction!  Now I just need to regain my fitness and mojo for exercise as I'm out of shape!  Oh well, one day at time as I'm just blessed to be free and healthy again!

What are my resolutions for 2011?

I'm not sure.  I'm still sorting through my new found freedom to live my life again and enjoy it one day at time!  I know that I won't take my family, friends and health for granted. I'm happy to report I've now complete my first week of light exercise and I feel great!  I plan to continue to look for ways to give back and inspire others! 

Here is one great group I'm working with in 2011 called Ironheart Racing Team. http://www.ironheartracing.com/  I really want to try to use my situation as a way to encourage early detection and testing to raise awareness with athletes of all ages regarding healthy heart living!


Live life with no regrets!  Remember to enjoy the journey!

Thanks for reading and supporting!

Thankful, Inspired & Blessed in 2010

As 2010 comes to a close,  I reflect and celebrate all that I'm thankful for this year.  As many of you know I've had probably the one of the most challenging, yet inspiring years of my life.  I started the year with great health, loving family and supportive family/friends. 

Unfortunately,  life has a way of not always going as planned and I experienced a few bumps in the road.  My health challenges began in June during the Boise 70.3 when I started to pass a kidney stone on the run and soon realized all my goals were now out the window, however I felt it was important to finish what I started and get to the finish time.  As I was recovering from this experience I began to notice shortness of breath as I tired to run.  I told my wife I thought something was wrong and she said, "go to the doctor", so I did and they took some blood, etc., sending me on my way feeling everything was fine. 

Two days later I realized everything wasn't fine as I attempted to participate in a practice triathlon with Team Blaze Spokane Triathlon Club (http://www.teamblazespokane.com/) which is an inspiring and support group of people who I get the pleasure of coaching.  As I got off my bike to run as I had done a thousand times before I began to cough and cough while feeling light headed I finally had to stop after 2.5 miles.  Needless to say I was frustrated and knew my body well enough to now something wasn't right.

As I returned home still coughing and I notice that I was coughing up blood.  I was somewhat concerned, however Tristin was persistent that we go to the ER.  So, before I knew I was being admitted to Sacred Heart Medical Center for follow up tests.  It was during my 3 days at SHMC that an Echo Tech noticed my Mitral Valve wasn't closing properly, which could explain some of my symptoms.  This set in motion probably one of the most difficult times in my life when I felt like my future was out of my control.  I was initially diagnosed with possible HCM or Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and Mitral Valve Prolapse.  This caused me to react the only way I knew how which was to learn as much as I could about the unknown.  It was a scary time to think I was being to told to never swim, bike or run again and triathlon were now part of my old life.

I was frustrated and needed more answers.  I feel so blessed to have connected with Dr. Eric Anderson as he didn't realize it at the time, however the :45 minutes he spent with me made huge difference in my mental outlook on the situation.  He's not only a great sport medicine doctor, he's also a father and amazing athlete.  He could relate to me desire to continue to be active and offered to facilitate my care if the heart tests were inconclusive. In small world twist it turns out Dr. Anderson is my neighbor, however hopefully I'll only see him that capacity in the future!  Thank you Tom Deheart and Heidi Peterson for the referral.

In October,  after what seemed like an eternity of more questions than answers I completed my 5th heart test and I now had some answers as to why I was experiencing fatigue and my body wasn't allowing me the freedom to do all that I enjoy.  The interesting aspect of now having the answers relates to the fact that now I had to make some decisions about my future.  As this process began in June when I first met with the cardiologist the thought of surgery was something I strongly resisted, however as I learned more about the process I realized at 37 years old I desired the ability to live a long and healthy life free of restrictions. So, the reality of having robotic heart surgery was becoming more realistic.

I remember feeling more nervous than at any other time in my life when met with the heart surgeon for the first time.  He asked me if I was prepared to sit on couch like a normal person and let all this exercise go?  My response to him was again a question, do you feel like this is living?  After that brief exchange we began to discuss my options.  Unfortunately, my Mitral Valve was so compromised to the point that a basic repair might not be possible which I'll admit was tough to hear.  Tristin asked the Dr. Swick about how confident he was that he could repair the valve?  He paused for longer than I would like and  replied that he was 70% sure he could repair it. 

As many of you know that have supported me through this journey through heart surgery, I ended up having to make difficult decision which I felt 100% confident with my mechanical mitral valve put in if the repair didn't work.  Other than having to take Coumadin the rest of my life and hearing a slight ticking noise when I exercise, I feel so thankful to be on the road to recovery, healthy and alive.

(The amazing piece of art created by team Blaze member Mason McCuddin (Thank you!) was an ideal reminder with the names of all the club members inscribed as to how many people were lifting me up and supporting my through my surgery!  It is also a reminder as to the fact I literally put my heart, my life in the hands of god and through him was Dr. Siwek was successful with my surgery. I'm so thankful to be on the road to recovery!)

As a coach of several athletes I feel fortunate to be able to guide on their individual journeys in setting and reaching goals.  Recently, I had the pleasure of coaching and being inspired by two amazing athletes that I also consider good friends.  They both accomplished different goals and helped me to maintain a positive spirit through their actions.

(Norma with Tristin and I)

Recently, Norma qualified for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in Clearwater and finished 10th in her Age Group.  She continues to set goals, improve and inspire with her focus on consistency.  Over the last few years she has qualified for the Boston Marathon and 70.3World Championship!  I look forward to coaching her for IM CDA in 2011!

(Chet#10459 is standing next to me after the Honolulu Marathon and Charles Dias on the far right)

Chet recently lived out his dream and repeated his 20 x Ironman effort from 12 yrs ago. Chet contacted me about a year ago and ask me to coach him through this amazing event.  Starting on November 13th and concluding on Dec. 12th, he completed a 48 mile swim, 1200 mile bike and 524 mile run!  Chet did an excellent job of losing +30 lbs and finished what he started!  He proved to many that anything is possible if you stay positive and focused as the mind is a powerful thing.  As an example of the good in people, Charles also pictured above supported Chet everyday for 28 days taking time off work and away from family to assure the Chet accomplished his goal.

(Ultra Marathon finish March 2010)

In closing out the year, I've learned so many valuable lessons this year about faith, positive mental focus, friendship and family.  Life isn't fair and no one every said it would be, however I feel if we all just take time to reflect, support and give back to each other the world becomes a better place. In life we will all experience bumps in the road, although I truly feel it is how we respond or react to this challenges that defines us.  I knew that during this journey the only thing I could control is the ability to maintain a positive outlook and spirit.  This wasn't easy, however through faith, friendship and family I knew I wasn't alone.  Words can't expressed how much I appreciate all the support and encouragement provided to me through this bump in the road.

As I look forward to 2011 with wide eyed optimism I'm reminded through my 5 yrs. of all the good and simple things in life. Each day he's learning, growing and inspiring! Thank you little buddy!


Words can't express how much I appreciate my awesome wife for blessing my life with unconditional love and support! You're my best friend, partner in adventure and wonderful mother!



All the best in 2011 and remember to enjoy the journey!

Team Blazer Fun November 2011

Thanks for reading, encouraging, inspiring, and supporting!

Road to Recovery

Words can't begin to explain how good it feels to be alive and on the other side of this surgery.  Of course I always try to think positively, however with any major surgery there is no guarantee. I prayed for the best case scenario which in my case would have been to get my mitral valve repaired.  I knew going into the surgery the valve function wouldn't allow for a routine repair due to the fact I had mitral valve prolapse and mitral valve regurgitation.  I had prepared myself for both the repair and replacement options. 

After 4hrs of surgery the surgeon came to my wife (Tristin) and explained he wasn't pleased when they tested the valve function after the repair.  The valve function had improved, however he wasn't sure it would hold up over time.  So, he confirmed with her again that I would in fact want a mechanical valve.  He also gave the option of taking up golf and just changing my lifestyle completely, which Tristin quickly informed him wasn't an option.  Thanks honey for being my #1 support!

My surgeon headed back into finish the mitral valve repair.  So, all together my surgery took about 6 hrs and they stopped/started my heart twice. (crazy when you think about it!) I did put my life in someone else's hands and feel fortunate to have Dr. Siwek in Spokane.  He's an amazing surgeon, however I hope to have to never use his services again!

Once I finished surgery on Nov. 15th, I spent until 9pm at night with tube down my throat (probably the worst part of the whole experience).  I stayed in the ICU overnight and then at 8am the next day they wheeled my upstairs to my own room.   I was so thankful to be making progress, although the first day everything was moving slow.  It was great to have so many family and friends visit me in the hospital.  I knew I had many amazing people in my life, however this experience once again confirmed it.

On Nov. 16th, I think I walked 150 ft twice during the day, my throat hurt worse than anything because of the tube irritating plus I had fat lip too, but I wasn't complaining as I was glad to be feeling alive!  I didn't have much of an appetite, coughed all night and popsicles/ice were amazing treats.  I used the spirometer and spend most of the day sleeping. I was coughing a lot (painful!) and running temperature.  That night sleep was rough due to the sore throat and coughing.  The highlight of my day was seeing family and friends throughout the day!

On Nov. 17th, I didn't sleep well due to the coughing/sore throat and multitude of tests, although it was again great to see family and more friends come to visit me.  I really start feeling better and walked more the double the distance of the day before.  I tried to eat, but that was limited to jello, pudding and apple sauce.  As the day progressed I continued to run a temperature of 100, although they did remove the big tubes from my neck!  I started to look forward to all the little things that indicated I could get out of the hospital! At the end day three I thought I might end up there until Friday due the fact I still had a few tubes in my chest, although I just kept trying to do as they instructed and found the coughing did finally start to subside!

On the Nov. 18th during the rounds the PA said they were going to try to get me out of there today!  I was pleasantly surprised and now I just need a few chest tubes removed!  I was finally able to get out on the hospital and home by 2pm!

It's hard to imagine that one week ago I had heart surgery, although I pleased to report I'm getting stronger each day!  Yes, I'm tried and sore, but more importantly I feel blessed with life!  I'm realistic and I know I have a long road of recovery ahead of me.  I've been getting a ton of rest and I've had time to think about all the fun adventures that I want to plan in the coming years.   My #1 goal initially is to make sure I'm completely healthy before I jump back into my active life too soon.

I'd like to share two amazing resources I came across through this process to help me during this experience.  I found people that are dealing with a similar surgery too provide amazing perspective and support.  If you know someone that is dealing with any life changing decisions regarding heart surgery I encourage you to share these two websites. http://valvereplacement.org/  http://www.cardiacathletes.org.uk/forums/index.php

My road to recovery is just beginning, yet my life is fulled with endless possibilities.  I've learned so many lessons through this process about myself.  I only hope to continue to grow as husband, father, son, friend and coach to live my life in a way that inspires and supports others.  I realize that I want to live a life of giving more than I take.

In moving past this bump in the road I realize the challenges of life have a way of providing insight into the true character of people and importance of family & friends.  Thank you all for supporting, encouraging and inspiring me through this process!

Enjoy the journey!

Heart Surgery

In life we all come to a crossroads or point in life where we need to trust that the decisions we make are the right ones.  For me that decision like this surgery has mentally weighed me down for months, although fortunately I've had family and friends to pick me back up.  My surgery and decision is now only days away.

My surgery is scheduled for a robotic mitral valve repair which now has become more routine (so I hear) although this is my heart and I really hope the repair is successful.  Before I go into surgery I have to let Dr. Siwek (my heart surgeon) know if I want a biological or mechanical valve if the repair doesn't work.  I've read endless research articles and talked with others, although this is my decision.  The list of Pros vs. Cons has consumed my thoughts lately.  The reality is that I won't know until I wake up after surgery of the outcome, so I've tried to prepare for both outcomes.

So, what would you do?  I hope everyone reading this doesn't ever have to decide.  I can go with biological valve and probably be fine for the next 10-15 or so years, although it would eventually have to be replaced.    Ultimately just like anything in life there is no guarantee.  I could get the mechanical valve and it might last the rest of my life, although it might not.  If I decided to go with mechanical valve I'd need to take blood thinners for the rest of my life and I already don't like to take anything. This really is the most difficult decision of my life and I hope by Monday morning I can make the decision with more confidence than I have now.

I've had so much on my mind lately that I feel I'm running the race of my life mentally everyday.  This surgery is serious business and as much as I'm trying to pray for positive outcomes my life will literally be in the hands of another.  Scary thought!  I know the surgeon is excellent, however like anything in life there is no guarantee.

I find myself for the first time in my life truly reflecting on my journey through life from a different perspective.  I'm asking myself questions that I've never really thought much about due to the fact this major surgery and I have more anxiety than I've had at any time in my life.  I've tried through this process to maintain my spirit, focus on the things I can control and come to understand that god truly does have a plan for all of us.

But the questions are still there.....Why me?  What am I suppose to learn from this?  What will I change in my life moving forward?  How did I go from feeling in the best shape of my life in June to heart surgery?  How can I use this experience to help others?  Are my parents/wife/son/family and friends proud of me?  I know the answers to some of these questions and plan to resolve others after surgery.

OK, OK.... enough of these questions.  My point is that I think all of us take life for granted at some point and forget to enjoy the little things or small successes along the way.  I know I have a long life to live, so I pray god will let me continue to inspire and touch the lives of others. It may be through supporting my family or helping teach people to live a healthy life of balance with goals to be all they can be.  I encourage everyone to find a way to give back and take time to enjoy the journey through life.

Did I think at 37 yrs old I'd be having heart surgery?  Of course not, however one thing I've learned through this process is that life is completely unpredictable.  All I can do is maintain a positive outlook and spirit as I put my life in the hands of others.

I'm going to Sacred Heart Medical Center on Monday, Nov. 15th at 4:45am to prepare to have surgery at 7:15am.  I'll be in the hospital for 3 to 4 days.  Thank you to everyone that has supported me through this bump in the road journey through life.  I feel so fortunate to have such an amazing support system of family and friends that will here for me when I wake up after surgery. 

Thanks for reading and remember to enjoy the journey!

Patience, Heart & Spirit

I recently celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary with my amazing wife by running the Portland Half Marathon on 10-10-10!  We spent a fun weekend with family and friends.  Despite all the rain during the run we were able to share another special experience together. 

As we drove back to Spokane after the run I reflected on the last 10 yrs with all the highs and lows knowing how fortunate I am to be with someone that loves and supports me.  My wife has taught me to be patient and realize what is truly important in my life.  She is a wonderful mother, friend and she has special spirit that is contagious.

After we returned to Spokane the reality set in that my appointment with the surgeon to discuss my future and literally put my heart in hand was here.  I've had about 6 weeks to reflect on the news provided through my last visit to the cardiologist that I needed mitral valve repair surgery.  As my appointment with the surgeon became a reality today and my anxiety was at new high.  I'm ready to move passed this bump in the road, however when I was waiting to meet with the surgeon I had so many thoughts about the future racing through my head.  When the surgeon came in and ask about the how I felt about sitting on the couch the rest of my life I immediately responded by saying I didn't feel that was living.  All I want is the ability to be free to live a long healthy life.  If I can do triathlons and run marathons again that would be a bonus, although I just want to live without restrictions.

The surgeon explained that I had a few options....
#1) Robotic Mitral Valve Repair Surgery
#2) Robotic Mitral Valve Replacement Surgery if the repair doesn't work




How is robotic heart mitral valve repair different from traditional surgery?

Three tiny incisions (holes or “ports”) are made in between the ribs

The robotic arms and a tiny camera are placed through the ports

Motion sensors are attached to the robotic “wrists” so the surgeon can control the movement

Instruments are placed in the robotic arms

The surgeon sits at a computer and looks through two lenses, one for each eye, connected to two cameras inside the patient. The surgeon has a three-dimensional and magnified view inside the patient’s body. The surgeon uses pedals to control the cameras and the surgical view. The surgeon’s hands are used to control the tiny instruments inside the patient. The surgeon is always in control and there is no chance the robotic arms will move on their own.


When my ever questioning wife ask about the odds the repair would be successful the surgeon put my odds at 70%.  I would love to have heard 100%, although the reality is if I don't have surgery my life will only become more limited.  It's surreal to think I felt in the best shape of my life in June and now I'm praying that this surgery works to allow me maintain a healthy quality of life. 

I've learned so many lesson through the last four months about maintaining a positive spirit and outlook.  I figure I only have one journey through life and I want to feeling like I'm living.  This experience has completely tested my patience, expanded my view of faith and provided me with life perspective.  I appreciate all that I have in my life and look forward to all my life that is before me.  My heart may be in need of repair, however my spirit will remain strong.

My surgery is set for Nov.15th.  I can't express how fortunate I feel to have such an amazing support system of family & friends that continue to help guide me through the next phase of this life changing journey.

Thanks for reading!

The Glass Half Full

Reece (1st day of school age 5)

I've always been fascinated by the mind-body connection and how that impacts all areas of life.  As I continue to sort through the reality that my body isn't going to heal itself I've reached out to various means to help me deal with the mental side of these new physical limitations.

I'm so fortunate to be surrounded by an amazing support system of loving family and friends to pull me through the days when my mind will run a race that has no end.  The one thing I've realized through this process is the importance of being thankful and appreciative of all the wonderful aspects of my life.  The last 3 months has been tougher mentally than I could have imagined.  I've gone from feeling in the best shape of my life with the freedom to push my physical limits to wondering what the true meaning of my life involves.

I've never really bought into the spiritual side of life.  I believe in God, although I've never felt the need to go to church as a means to show faith. Is this wrong, maybe or maybe not.  My point is that I feel everyone has to believe and live within their comfort level.  My comfort level has never been through going to church every Sunday and especially when I felt that was forced upon me.  This summer I've found through reading more about examples of faith and talking to friends that I'm more at easy with some of the "why" questions.

I learned that God does have a plan for all of us and although sometimes it seems he gives people more than they can handle if they are willing to open up he will guide them through their faith and lead them to the answers.  I've read two great books recently...."One Month to Live"  (Thank you Kim for sharing this great book with me as it's really helped to bring my current life into perspective) and  "Running on Faith" is the other book I'm currently reading which I also highly recommend for anyone that has any doubts about what is truly possible in life.  The book is close to my heart as it relates to the parallels between endurance sports and life through the perspective of someone that was guided by his faith to overcome all physical barriers in life through his will and mental strength.  Ok, I'm not going to ruin it for anyone, however I encourage you to read these books as they've really helped me to refocus and feel like I'm still living my life albeit through a different lens.

This has never been more clear than through my recent Cardiology tests and appointments where I was told that my mitral valve in heart was in fact in need of repair.  I've tried not to live in denial this summer, although I must say when I went in for this last test on August 30th I had almost convinced myself that I was feeling better so my heart must have just healed itself this summer due to my relative inactivity. I was hoping they would say everything looks great and you can go back to living your life with no restrictions.  Unfortunately, I didn't hear those magic words and I feel I didn't initial hear the "glass half full" message either.  It took me a good week or two after talking to family and friends to realize that having surgery with a good thing.  Thank you all for the inspiring words and perspective as I needed to hear it. 

The reality is that in my situation the glass is half full.  The Cardiologists now know what is wrong with my heart and the surgeon can hopefully fix it!  I went back to my Cardiologist today and he explained the next steps in this process involve going to see Dr. Siwek (Cardic Surgeon) that has come highly recommended by all my doctors and friends in the medical community which is reassuring.  So, now I wait to meet with the surgeon and discuss literally putting my heart in his hands.

Life is truly a journey and each day I try to learn something from those people that touch my life.  Recently I've learned that although sometimes the news isn't what we want to hear in my case the glass is half full and my spirit and faith is stronger than ever.  I can almost see light at the end of this race to overcome this minor life detour. Enjoy the journey!

Thanks for reading!

My Life, My Roller Coaster Ride

I've always been a fan of roller coasters as I live for adventures and experiences, although this summer my life has been on a roller coaster ride with more twists and turns than I have ever imagined.  The last 10 days have continued this unpredicatable journey I've come to know as my life.

On 8/20, I was excited to get off my heart medicine in preparation for my upcoming heart test.  I don't like taking anything and especially considering the medicine makes me feel fatigued/sluggish I'd rather not take it.  Maybe it was psychological, however I've felt better the last two weeks than I have all summer.  I felt so good in fact I started to run again, albeit only 3-4 miles at a time.  I felt like I was living again!  I decided that I should sign up for the 1st Annual Priest Lake Mtn. Bike Triathlon, however I had strict orders to keep my heart rate below 150.  Usually in a normal triathlon this would be relatively easy as I found out earlier this summer in Chelan.

The triathlon started with a super short swim(350m) in Priest Lake.  As my wife (Tristin), myself and 5 of our Team Blaze friends stood at the edge of the lake and waited for the start my wife reminded me this was not a race for me.  I agreed, although deep down I wished I could push myself and race again like I have done all my life.  As the race started I opted for a self compromise, I would swim hard for the first 100m and then cruise realizing the rest of my day I had to be smart about my heart rate. When I reached the beach after the short 5 min. swim to my surprise I had a 30 sec. lead.  I must say with all I've been through this summer it felt great to hear the cheers and soak in my short lived moment. 

After the swim, instead of racing to the transition and starting the ride as quickly as possible I took my time. Once I got on the bike I soon realized with a mile climb up 750ft. it was going to be tough to keep my HR to 150, however I reminded myself this wasn't race for me, so I needed to be smart and take it easy.  The bike was hilly, but it was beautiful and I felt a sense of calm to be participating again.  I think the 20+ athletes that passed me on the bike were somewhat surprised when I encouraged them on as they flew passed me, although this why I love triathlon as everyone is out there giving there best on that day.  As I finished the bike I was surprised as how good my legs felt!

Starting the 5K not knowing what to expect due to the fact I really haven't run all summer, I was pleasantly surprised to realize I could still run!  I was able to run at 7:30 pace at 150 HR!  I was even able to pass 8 athletes on the run!  It my great to see Tristin and all the other Team Blaze athletes out on the course and be able to participate again! I truly enjoyed the experience and felt like I was living again without limits.

I woke up Sunday morning and felt great with no soreness!  Tristin and I then joined our awesome neighbors Daniel & Kimberly to a run on the Bloomsday course which was my longest run of the summer!  I can't begin to explain how great it felt to be living life on my terms again.

Now fast forward today (8/30) and my heart test.  I must say I was hopefully optimistic as I've been feeling much better lately and I had hoped they would say everything has really improved over the summer.  Unfortunately, my roller coaster didn't go the direction I had hoped.  After the TEE, I was told that my Mitral Valve is worse than they thought and even at lower heart rate the valve wasn't functioning properly.  So, what does this mean?  Two cardiologists have recommended that I have surgery to correct/repair the valve.  I'll be honest this is tough to take as I've always lived my life knowing I could just train harder or study longer to overcome challenges my life, however now my roller coaster and my life are at the fork in the journey.  My will to overcome this challenge isn't possible.  I have my next cardiology appointment on 9/17 to determine my options for surgery. Did I ever think that my life at 37yrs old would involve heart surgery?  Of course not, however there is nothing I can do about it which is frustrating, scary and unfortunately my life as I know it.

I truly appreciate all the support and inspiration from my wife/son, family, friends and ahtletes I coach.  I have realized that life truly is a journey full of highs and lows, although it's a challenging time I can only try to press on with a positive spirit. Enjoy the journey and don't take life for granted!

Thanks for reading.