Heart Surgery

In life we all come to a crossroads or point in life where we need to trust that the decisions we make are the right ones.  For me that decision like this surgery has mentally weighed me down for months, although fortunately I've had family and friends to pick me back up.  My surgery and decision is now only days away.

My surgery is scheduled for a robotic mitral valve repair which now has become more routine (so I hear) although this is my heart and I really hope the repair is successful.  Before I go into surgery I have to let Dr. Siwek (my heart surgeon) know if I want a biological or mechanical valve if the repair doesn't work.  I've read endless research articles and talked with others, although this is my decision.  The list of Pros vs. Cons has consumed my thoughts lately.  The reality is that I won't know until I wake up after surgery of the outcome, so I've tried to prepare for both outcomes.

So, what would you do?  I hope everyone reading this doesn't ever have to decide.  I can go with biological valve and probably be fine for the next 10-15 or so years, although it would eventually have to be replaced.    Ultimately just like anything in life there is no guarantee.  I could get the mechanical valve and it might last the rest of my life, although it might not.  If I decided to go with mechanical valve I'd need to take blood thinners for the rest of my life and I already don't like to take anything. This really is the most difficult decision of my life and I hope by Monday morning I can make the decision with more confidence than I have now.

I've had so much on my mind lately that I feel I'm running the race of my life mentally everyday.  This surgery is serious business and as much as I'm trying to pray for positive outcomes my life will literally be in the hands of another.  Scary thought!  I know the surgeon is excellent, however like anything in life there is no guarantee.

I find myself for the first time in my life truly reflecting on my journey through life from a different perspective.  I'm asking myself questions that I've never really thought much about due to the fact this major surgery and I have more anxiety than I've had at any time in my life.  I've tried through this process to maintain my spirit, focus on the things I can control and come to understand that god truly does have a plan for all of us.

But the questions are still there.....Why me?  What am I suppose to learn from this?  What will I change in my life moving forward?  How did I go from feeling in the best shape of my life in June to heart surgery?  How can I use this experience to help others?  Are my parents/wife/son/family and friends proud of me?  I know the answers to some of these questions and plan to resolve others after surgery.

OK, OK.... enough of these questions.  My point is that I think all of us take life for granted at some point and forget to enjoy the little things or small successes along the way.  I know I have a long life to live, so I pray god will let me continue to inspire and touch the lives of others. It may be through supporting my family or helping teach people to live a healthy life of balance with goals to be all they can be.  I encourage everyone to find a way to give back and take time to enjoy the journey through life.

Did I think at 37 yrs old I'd be having heart surgery?  Of course not, however one thing I've learned through this process is that life is completely unpredictable.  All I can do is maintain a positive outlook and spirit as I put my life in the hands of others.

I'm going to Sacred Heart Medical Center on Monday, Nov. 15th at 4:45am to prepare to have surgery at 7:15am.  I'll be in the hospital for 3 to 4 days.  Thank you to everyone that has supported me through this bump in the road journey through life.  I feel so fortunate to have such an amazing support system of family and friends that will here for me when I wake up after surgery. 

Thanks for reading and remember to enjoy the journey!

Patience, Heart & Spirit

I recently celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary with my amazing wife by running the Portland Half Marathon on 10-10-10!  We spent a fun weekend with family and friends.  Despite all the rain during the run we were able to share another special experience together. 

As we drove back to Spokane after the run I reflected on the last 10 yrs with all the highs and lows knowing how fortunate I am to be with someone that loves and supports me.  My wife has taught me to be patient and realize what is truly important in my life.  She is a wonderful mother, friend and she has special spirit that is contagious.

After we returned to Spokane the reality set in that my appointment with the surgeon to discuss my future and literally put my heart in hand was here.  I've had about 6 weeks to reflect on the news provided through my last visit to the cardiologist that I needed mitral valve repair surgery.  As my appointment with the surgeon became a reality today and my anxiety was at new high.  I'm ready to move passed this bump in the road, however when I was waiting to meet with the surgeon I had so many thoughts about the future racing through my head.  When the surgeon came in and ask about the how I felt about sitting on the couch the rest of my life I immediately responded by saying I didn't feel that was living.  All I want is the ability to be free to live a long healthy life.  If I can do triathlons and run marathons again that would be a bonus, although I just want to live without restrictions.

The surgeon explained that I had a few options....
#1) Robotic Mitral Valve Repair Surgery
#2) Robotic Mitral Valve Replacement Surgery if the repair doesn't work




How is robotic heart mitral valve repair different from traditional surgery?

Three tiny incisions (holes or “ports”) are made in between the ribs

The robotic arms and a tiny camera are placed through the ports

Motion sensors are attached to the robotic “wrists” so the surgeon can control the movement

Instruments are placed in the robotic arms

The surgeon sits at a computer and looks through two lenses, one for each eye, connected to two cameras inside the patient. The surgeon has a three-dimensional and magnified view inside the patient’s body. The surgeon uses pedals to control the cameras and the surgical view. The surgeon’s hands are used to control the tiny instruments inside the patient. The surgeon is always in control and there is no chance the robotic arms will move on their own.


When my ever questioning wife ask about the odds the repair would be successful the surgeon put my odds at 70%.  I would love to have heard 100%, although the reality is if I don't have surgery my life will only become more limited.  It's surreal to think I felt in the best shape of my life in June and now I'm praying that this surgery works to allow me maintain a healthy quality of life. 

I've learned so many lesson through the last four months about maintaining a positive spirit and outlook.  I figure I only have one journey through life and I want to feeling like I'm living.  This experience has completely tested my patience, expanded my view of faith and provided me with life perspective.  I appreciate all that I have in my life and look forward to all my life that is before me.  My heart may be in need of repair, however my spirit will remain strong.

My surgery is set for Nov.15th.  I can't express how fortunate I feel to have such an amazing support system of family & friends that continue to help guide me through the next phase of this life changing journey.

Thanks for reading!

The Glass Half Full

Reece (1st day of school age 5)

I've always been fascinated by the mind-body connection and how that impacts all areas of life.  As I continue to sort through the reality that my body isn't going to heal itself I've reached out to various means to help me deal with the mental side of these new physical limitations.

I'm so fortunate to be surrounded by an amazing support system of loving family and friends to pull me through the days when my mind will run a race that has no end.  The one thing I've realized through this process is the importance of being thankful and appreciative of all the wonderful aspects of my life.  The last 3 months has been tougher mentally than I could have imagined.  I've gone from feeling in the best shape of my life with the freedom to push my physical limits to wondering what the true meaning of my life involves.

I've never really bought into the spiritual side of life.  I believe in God, although I've never felt the need to go to church as a means to show faith. Is this wrong, maybe or maybe not.  My point is that I feel everyone has to believe and live within their comfort level.  My comfort level has never been through going to church every Sunday and especially when I felt that was forced upon me.  This summer I've found through reading more about examples of faith and talking to friends that I'm more at easy with some of the "why" questions.

I learned that God does have a plan for all of us and although sometimes it seems he gives people more than they can handle if they are willing to open up he will guide them through their faith and lead them to the answers.  I've read two great books recently...."One Month to Live"  (Thank you Kim for sharing this great book with me as it's really helped to bring my current life into perspective) and  "Running on Faith" is the other book I'm currently reading which I also highly recommend for anyone that has any doubts about what is truly possible in life.  The book is close to my heart as it relates to the parallels between endurance sports and life through the perspective of someone that was guided by his faith to overcome all physical barriers in life through his will and mental strength.  Ok, I'm not going to ruin it for anyone, however I encourage you to read these books as they've really helped me to refocus and feel like I'm still living my life albeit through a different lens.

This has never been more clear than through my recent Cardiology tests and appointments where I was told that my mitral valve in heart was in fact in need of repair.  I've tried not to live in denial this summer, although I must say when I went in for this last test on August 30th I had almost convinced myself that I was feeling better so my heart must have just healed itself this summer due to my relative inactivity. I was hoping they would say everything looks great and you can go back to living your life with no restrictions.  Unfortunately, I didn't hear those magic words and I feel I didn't initial hear the "glass half full" message either.  It took me a good week or two after talking to family and friends to realize that having surgery with a good thing.  Thank you all for the inspiring words and perspective as I needed to hear it. 

The reality is that in my situation the glass is half full.  The Cardiologists now know what is wrong with my heart and the surgeon can hopefully fix it!  I went back to my Cardiologist today and he explained the next steps in this process involve going to see Dr. Siwek (Cardic Surgeon) that has come highly recommended by all my doctors and friends in the medical community which is reassuring.  So, now I wait to meet with the surgeon and discuss literally putting my heart in his hands.

Life is truly a journey and each day I try to learn something from those people that touch my life.  Recently I've learned that although sometimes the news isn't what we want to hear in my case the glass is half full and my spirit and faith is stronger than ever.  I can almost see light at the end of this race to overcome this minor life detour. Enjoy the journey!

Thanks for reading!

My Life, My Roller Coaster Ride

I've always been a fan of roller coasters as I live for adventures and experiences, although this summer my life has been on a roller coaster ride with more twists and turns than I have ever imagined.  The last 10 days have continued this unpredicatable journey I've come to know as my life.

On 8/20, I was excited to get off my heart medicine in preparation for my upcoming heart test.  I don't like taking anything and especially considering the medicine makes me feel fatigued/sluggish I'd rather not take it.  Maybe it was psychological, however I've felt better the last two weeks than I have all summer.  I felt so good in fact I started to run again, albeit only 3-4 miles at a time.  I felt like I was living again!  I decided that I should sign up for the 1st Annual Priest Lake Mtn. Bike Triathlon, however I had strict orders to keep my heart rate below 150.  Usually in a normal triathlon this would be relatively easy as I found out earlier this summer in Chelan.

The triathlon started with a super short swim(350m) in Priest Lake.  As my wife (Tristin), myself and 5 of our Team Blaze friends stood at the edge of the lake and waited for the start my wife reminded me this was not a race for me.  I agreed, although deep down I wished I could push myself and race again like I have done all my life.  As the race started I opted for a self compromise, I would swim hard for the first 100m and then cruise realizing the rest of my day I had to be smart about my heart rate. When I reached the beach after the short 5 min. swim to my surprise I had a 30 sec. lead.  I must say with all I've been through this summer it felt great to hear the cheers and soak in my short lived moment. 

After the swim, instead of racing to the transition and starting the ride as quickly as possible I took my time. Once I got on the bike I soon realized with a mile climb up 750ft. it was going to be tough to keep my HR to 150, however I reminded myself this wasn't race for me, so I needed to be smart and take it easy.  The bike was hilly, but it was beautiful and I felt a sense of calm to be participating again.  I think the 20+ athletes that passed me on the bike were somewhat surprised when I encouraged them on as they flew passed me, although this why I love triathlon as everyone is out there giving there best on that day.  As I finished the bike I was surprised as how good my legs felt!

Starting the 5K not knowing what to expect due to the fact I really haven't run all summer, I was pleasantly surprised to realize I could still run!  I was able to run at 7:30 pace at 150 HR!  I was even able to pass 8 athletes on the run!  It my great to see Tristin and all the other Team Blaze athletes out on the course and be able to participate again! I truly enjoyed the experience and felt like I was living again without limits.

I woke up Sunday morning and felt great with no soreness!  Tristin and I then joined our awesome neighbors Daniel & Kimberly to a run on the Bloomsday course which was my longest run of the summer!  I can't begin to explain how great it felt to be living life on my terms again.

Now fast forward today (8/30) and my heart test.  I must say I was hopefully optimistic as I've been feeling much better lately and I had hoped they would say everything has really improved over the summer.  Unfortunately, my roller coaster didn't go the direction I had hoped.  After the TEE, I was told that my Mitral Valve is worse than they thought and even at lower heart rate the valve wasn't functioning properly.  So, what does this mean?  Two cardiologists have recommended that I have surgery to correct/repair the valve.  I'll be honest this is tough to take as I've always lived my life knowing I could just train harder or study longer to overcome challenges my life, however now my roller coaster and my life are at the fork in the journey.  My will to overcome this challenge isn't possible.  I have my next cardiology appointment on 9/17 to determine my options for surgery. Did I ever think that my life at 37yrs old would involve heart surgery?  Of course not, however there is nothing I can do about it which is frustrating, scary and unfortunately my life as I know it.

I truly appreciate all the support and inspiration from my wife/son, family, friends and ahtletes I coach.  I have realized that life truly is a journey full of highs and lows, although it's a challenging time I can only try to press on with a positive spirit. Enjoy the journey and don't take life for granted!

Thanks for reading.

My Puzzling Summer

Reecer finished his first triathlon! (July 2010)

I recently celebrated my 37th birthday which was a great weekend with family and friends.  As get older and hopefully wiser I'm reminded of the simple things in life. If I forget I have my 5 year old son to make sure I know all about cartoons, trains, snacks, naps, night time bedtime stories and wet pull ups.  If life was only that simple forever.

Reece Kids Triathlon 8-8-10

My summer health diagnosis continues to leave me and unfortunately the experts puzzled.  As I went back to the Cardiologist last week his first words to me went something like this, "Hello Scott, my puzzling patient".  Ok, now when your Cardiologist (somedays I still can't believe I have one) refers to you as puzzling patient it doesn't do a lot for the confidence.  Oh well....that is my life currently. 

I've had so many tests performed on me this summer I feel like an anatomy project.  Due to my puzzling diagnosis I have to go in for another test on 8/30 which is basically a combination of two other tests I've already been through called a Dobutamine Transesophageal Echocardiogram.  The Cardiologist is trying to determine why my Mitral Valve isn't functionng the way it should when my heart rate is above 150. 

Here is what my puzzling summer has involved.  I love taking vacations days off work to go have tubes stuck down my throat, however hopefully is almost over.

http://www.texasheartinstitute.org/HIC/Topics/Diag/ditee.cfm 

I've been trying to research and consult from NJ to California due to my original diagnosis of HCM or Hypertrophic Cardiomypathy.  I'm not in the clear yet and currently trying to get Stanford HCM Center to look over my medical record as I have some symptoms, however not the genetic history. I can honestly say all of this has truly given me a new perspective on not taking life for granted.  Does it make it easier to accept, deal with or understand?  Absolutely not, however I owe it to all those that love me to not try to act like it's all ok by putting myself at risk. 

As I sort through this puzzling journey I've been on this summer I've learned many things about the importance of the simple things in life, the strength of my family and importance of great friends that although scared for me, they call, email, text and continue to be there for me.  Thank for you all and remember life should be about the simple things!

Thanks for reading and enjoy the journey!

Scott

Chelan Man Triathlon "Participating vs Racing"

My life has been on physical and emotional roller coaster ride since June 12th, however this weekend really helped to again put my new life perspective in place.  I've been somewhat programmed since my first swim race at 5 yrs to be very competitive.  I've always enjoyed the challenge of racing and trying to do my best in all areas of life.  I've found recently that I wasn't sure how I would handle "participating" as opposed to "racing" as my health and new heart condition diagnosis have left me with little options.  As I prepared for the  Chelan Man Triathlon I found myself for the first time at total peace with the idea I wasn't trying to win the race, my age group or even focus a time.  All the factors that have motivated and helped me to set personal goals for the last 30 yrs were now completely irrelevent.  My journey was now about supporting my wife by participating with her for the first time in over 100 triathlons instead of racing for my own personal goals.  I must say I really enjoyed this special experience.  I plan to support Tristin by participating with her in the future!

Now on to our great family weekend at Lake Chelan.  First off this was the first time we've camped as a family and after some initial challenge with our HUGE borrowed tent it was an awesome weekend. I think everyone in the club at our campsite could have fit in there as it was like 10 X 16, so we had plenty of room.

Chelan is a beautiful area for a race and we enjoyed the weekend of multiple races. I coach most of the 10 TB athletes in some capacity that participated in the various races, so I enjoyed seeing all them race and most importantly have fun! Everyone did such a great job and all the athletes went faster than I predicted!

As for my race, I truly enjoyed the journey. I signed up for this race before I knew about my heart condition, however I still wanted to participate, so Tristin (my wife) agreed if I raced with her I could still do it! As we approached the swim it was CHOPPY! I'm glad I don't have problems with the rough water as this was a rough swim. I started out at solid pace for 200 and then backed off as I remembered I'm not racing so I need to slow down and swim easy. I came out of the water and started my :07 T1, I must say it was great to take my time and not feel like I had to rush! When Tristin exited the swim without her wetsuit I was nice relaxed and ready for a ride with her.

We did the ride together for the first time ever which was really fun! Tristin rode like a champ and averaged 22 mph! We were passing many athletes in wave 1 and each other the whole way! As we approached T2 it was awesome to have so much Team Blaze support from our fellow club members that raced on Saturday!
We had a speedy T2 and started our run together. I was trying to push Tristin just enough without pushing too hard. We had a nice steady run as we tried to figure what place she was in. During the run it fun to see other Team Blaze athletes the Lund family competing as relays out there battling as David and Nicole ran with their kids. As we came to the finish on the downhill we had Reecer run to the finish with us which was great to finish as a family!

I truly enjoyed the journey and felt great at the end with an average HR of 125!  I highly recommend the Chelan Multisport weekend as a must do race. If you camp it's very affordable and fun to stay with other club members. Although we might stay at the camping area a little closer to to the start/town, which you must reserve early as everything fills up fast. If you want to do any of these shorter triathlons you need to sign up early as they all filled up about 6 weeks before race day.

After our race, Reecer did his first tri which provided great fun for all as most of the Team Blaze members stayed and supported him as he flew the Team Blaze colors wearing his little jersey. He did an awesome job and most importantly he had fun! He finished and said he wanted to do it again to get another medal, so we knew it was positive experience for him.

I learned once again this weekend to enjoy the journey through participating vs racing!

Thanks for reading!

Perspective from the heart

This post has been written is my head so many times it's hard to put into words, however here I go one word at a time. Just like how I plan to live my life one step and one day at a time as I continue my journey.

I started this journey into lifelong fitness when my mom taught me to swim at 4 yrs old and signed me up for The Dalles Swim Team.  This fueled my internal fire to challenge myself and I soon realizes I was competitive.  I've always been fortunate to have enough physical ability to work hard and reach my goals. Initially after swimming in college and gaining 40 lbs after college I just wanted to lose the weight, however my first dreadful Columbia Gorge Marathon in 1998 only fueled my fire even more.  I lost the weight and felt great!  Over the last 12 years I've raced all over the country while completing over 100 triathlons including Xterra World Championships, 3 Ironmans, 15 marathons including Boston and 1 ultra marathon.  I've truly lived life and enjoyed the journey my way.  I feel so blessed to have accomplished my goals and most importantly meet some incredible people along the way.  You see life isn't about money, race times or material things it's about the experiences and special people we meet along the way.


As I reflect on this new life perspective I've felt literally like I've had a gut wrenching last 4 weeks.  It all began while I was training and coaching for the last 6 months with all my awesome Team Blaze http://www.teamblazespokane.com/ friends.  I felt like I was back to the fitness level I had worked so hard to get to after a bummer knee injury I suffered last year after I accidently fell down a spiral stair case and thought I tore my meniscus only to find out I had 3 deep bone bruises and needed to take time over to let it heal. So now I fast foward to the week of June 7-12th. 

I'm trying wrap my mind around all of this as 4 weeks ago my good friend/training partner and I were doing 400 intervals with my HR at 172 and I was able to even carry on a conversation. We were talking about our Boise 70.3 goals, race strategy and current fitness levels. We were planning for our summer race adventures. Everything indicated that I was more fit than ever!

Then Boise 70.3 arrived on June 12th.  I felt great and really enjoyed coaching and racing with 20 other Team Blaze athletes.  As some you of realize at Boise the wind was brutal on the bike blowing 25-30mph, although I still felt great through mile 50 then I realize, uh-oh I didn't hydrate well as I approached T2 to start my run my hamstrings locked up with cramps and thought oh-no this is going to be a rough 13.1 miles.  Little did I know that was the least of my worries as I started to feel pain in my side right as I started to run this didn't feel like side stitch, it felt like a knifing pain where someone stabbing and twisting a knife inside.  I continued to try to run/walk and soon the pain became more than my mental toughness could handle.  I was frustrated, light headed and short of breathe.  Little did I know when I reached the finish line albeit about an hour slower then planned that my world was about to change.  As reflect back on Boise, I'm glad I finished the journey and completed the race.  I taught me again about never giving up.

A week after Boise I really thought everything was moving in the right direction and I felt much better after a few days off, however I then started having a few challenges while running. This situation became more serious on Wed. night June 23rd during a Team Blaze practice tri when I felt fine swimming and biking trying to take it easy and then I took 10 steps on the run and started coughing and as I tried to run around Medical Lake I was coughing up something orange and ended having to walk the last 3/4 of mile. My legs felt heavy, I was frustrated and light headed, although my awesome team mates were there to walk with me and get me some water. I coughed all the way home and noticed in the shower I was actually coughing up blood. So, my amazingly supportive wife said we're going to the ER now! So, I was admitted to SHMC for few days last week having every test done try to figure out what is going on with my body. They came to the general conclusion that my mitral value has a leak which isn't life threaten although scary all the same and I also may possibly be experiencing SIPE (Swim Induced Pulmonary Edema). I received an inhaler, they scheduled another test on 7/1 to check out a leaky mitral value in my heart and look into a rare condition called SIPE (swimming induced pulmonary edema) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15302723

 As many of know I went in for a stress test yesterday and honestly had an prayed that the ECHO I saw at SHMC was wrong. Unfortunately that wishful thinking was wrong. As they gave me the drugs to speed up my HR to 156 I soon realized the test confirmed my worst fears. This was again the intial diagnosis.


In basic language for some reason my heart isn't able to function like it should when my HR is elvated above 150. My heart has thickened over time and my Mitral Valve in my heart isn't effectively closing like it should which has lead to me to where I am now. Basically I've experienced almost all of these symptoms since Boise 70.3 on 6/12.

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Hypertrophic+cardiomyopathy

It's my understanding that the test on 7/6 will confirm this initial diagnosis and check for other issues.

http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/cardiac-catheterization

I'm trying to stay positive as it's the only way I know to deal with this situation. I've ask myself a 1000x why and why now? My answer so far is that things happen for a reason and although I still searching for my reason I do know I'm loved and supported through all of this as I sort through the future. As we all know life has no guarantees and we all experience bumps in the road which I feel give us incredible perspective and guide on our journey to understand who we really are deep down. Is all this fair, no, but one thing I learned while playing sports is that life isn't fair and hard/positive attitude doesn't always get us to the finish level with our goals met. Does it mean we failed, no, it just means for some reason it wasn't meant to be.

I truly appreciate how fortunate I am to have family, lifelong friends and awesome athletes that I consider friends/family that are supporting me and my family! You see my son Reece is so small he doesn't really understand about the reality of this situation which is probably for the best. All he know is my engine isn't working quite right. You see kids help give us perpsective and bring us back to reality with their honesty, innocence and spirit. Years from now I hope to swim, bike and run with him as I'm not going to let this change my spirit.

Thanks everyone for all the support and providing me with much appreciated perspective. As I told Reece I'll be ok and my engine (train talk) just isn't working like it should. So, I'll press on trying to hold on to my positive spirit, loving family and supportive friends as we all should do trying to do our best to be the best we can be one day at a time.

Hawaii 4/2/2010

My life is a journey and my heart has truly given me perspective as I move forward on my journey one step and one day at a time. Stay safe, be positive and remember to enjoy the journey!